Today, when I got home from work, I discovered that my turtle statue from the 99 Cents Only store that once stood in front of my door was missing, and a half-used sheet of mini smiley-face stickers sat in its place. Baffled, I began scanning the courtyard to see if my turtle had migrated to a doorstep nearby. I discovered that it now sits in front of the apartment of an old asian lady.
I am now crafting a master plan to gain her trust so that she will teach me all of her secret, old, asian, smiley-face magic.
For the time being, I have decided that I will take something off of her doorstep and leave a half-used sheet of frowny-face stickers in its place.